Children’s Week in WoW 2014: No News

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Can you hear that? It’s the sound of crickets chirping.

It’s Children’s Week once again in World of Warcraft. This Massive Mulitplayer Online Roleplaying Game (MMORPG) is online all the time, around the clock, all year round, and it has holidays for various occasions that mimic the real world holidays. This week, from April 28th till May 5th, it’s Children’s Week, which is most likely based on Japan’s holiday on May 5th, which is Children’s Day. The holiday lasts for one week in World of Warcaft however, which gives players plenty of time to get into the game and complete quests and achievements during the event, and it usually takes place during the first week of May. For the Japan Holiday, is is celebrated on the 5th day of the 5th month, and it is a day that is set aside to respect children’s personalities and celebrate their happiness, which I think is kind of cool and I wish there was a holiday for that here in the states. After all, we have Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and Grandparents Day. My hope to you, my readers, is that you take the time to enjoy your time with your children and to celebrate their being in your lives, because they truly are the greatest gifts in life and very precious.

In World of Warcraft, the theme is that… well… war, I suppose. The idea is that warriors fought and died bravely on the field of battle, but unfortunately their children were left behind from the conflict. Or perhaps the children’s village or city was sacked by the enemy and their parents were just simple farmers who were killed. Either way, there are orphans in Azeroth, and this week is when you get to temporarily adopt an orphan and take them on a whirlwind tour of Azeroth and get them Ice Cream and fly a kite. The Alliance gets a human orphan, and the Horde gets an Orc orphan, which in a way I can see this as an homage to the original video games from Blizard, “Warcraft: Orcs and Humans” or something similar.

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Dawn’s Blossom, the first place in Pandaria where you get to see Pandaren Cubs (not counting the Pandaren starting zone).

Now recently, they’ve been updating the artwork of the original races of Azeroth, giving them newer and better looking art. The game is almost 10 years old, so it could definitely use some polishing up to make it look nicer, but the orphans have never changed. We don’t see any Tauren calves or troll kids running about… or Night elf kids climbing trees or Dwarven children climbing the beer barrels outside the Thunderbrew Distillery. No Goblin kids that are afraid of water due to their home island sinking, or Worgen kids that change from human to wolf depending on the time of day. Forsaken… well, undead don’t have children… maybe they can have the Trick-or-Treat kids from Nightmare Before Christmas… Gnome kids would ask for the player’s help on completed a rube-goldberg device that automatically ties their shoes and stirs their chocolate milk.

Probably the most notable thing this year is the lack of new quests, particularly in the new world zone of Pandaria. Pandaria was shrouded in mist for thousands of years and was recently discovered and explored by the Horde and Alliance. During this period of history, the Sha corrupt the land and Garrosh Hellscream commit several terrible acts that, well… just weren’t nice. An insurrection occurs and Garrosh is removed from the Horde leadership, but there is no denying the fact that Pandaria has suffered from his hand and from the effects of the Sha.

So why then are there no Pandaren orphans? You expect me to believe that the death toll is zero? Did Pandaren warriors fight against Garrosh and die? Did the sha corrupt the land and send Pandaren farmers packing, or even kill these Pandaren? Did any cubs lose parents during this time of hardship in the land of mists?

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The lair of the Jade Witch.

It seems not. There are still orphans in the Horde and Alliance, in the Outlands, and in Northrend, but it looks as if the only thing Pandaren Cubs should fear is the Jade Witch, a woman Pandaren who lives in the Jade forest and has a tendency to turn intruders into green statues. Players who complete the quest chain involving this will free the ones who were transformed into jade and all the cubs will return to their homes safe and sound. After this, the Jade Witch no longer appears in her hut, the kid statues are gone, but some jade panthers will still prowl the woods, the last remnants of the witch’s influence. And the Pandaren cubs live happily ever after.

So yeah, no Pandaren orphans, in spite of the sha infestation and Garrosh’s influence and attacks on the land. Seems that either the Celestials were truly watching over the Pandaren families, or the game developers couldn’t be buggered. After all, they are coming out with a new expansion soon, updating art and animations. No pressure. There’s always next year.

Meanwhile, this is another holiday I will be skipping out on. You can get pets as quest rewards for taking time to be with an orphan and show them the world, but I have them all. You can get achievements and earn a title “Matron/Patron”, and I already have that. No new things this year.

I saved a bunch of Pandaren cubs from the Jade Witch during the normal quest chain that can be done only once at any time of the year, as you’re playing in Pandaria, and my reward as a lot of fuzzy little smiles and a green raccoon trinket that I’ll never use. I wish that was a pet. Or maybe a new box kite.

Socks

Socks is the name of the raccoon that got turned into Jade during it’s adventures in the forest.

Jade Raccoon Trinket

The trinket summons Socks the Raccoon, but it doesn’t stay out permanently like other companion pets and you can only have it out when you use the trinket.

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