Arrows in Skyrim Falling Short

I noticed something that is pretty annoying in Skyrim, and I’m sure that any player who has played as an archer will know what I’m talking about. Every so often, when you’re not noticing because of all the fun you’re having, for example you’re killing draugr in a crypt, you’re still using those old iron arrows because heck, it’s a new game and you have yet to craft better ones, and the steel arrows are adding up in your inventory in the mean time – you have better ammo but you’re saving it for later. (Personally, when I run out of iron arrows I try to never use them again and almost consider them a trash item from that point onward).

2016-01-10_00001Well, anyway, you’re in a crypt, sniping draugr, and all of a sudden your arrow falls short by about 2 feet instead of sailing straight and true to your target. You’re like, “What the hell?” and you frown curiously, “Not this bug again.” Another arrow and it falls short.

I think I figured out the bug. Lets say you start off using iron arrows, and all of a sudden you run out. The game knows you still have some arrows though, and it automatically will equip the next arrow type to be used. Could be steel, could be forsworn, falmer, ebony, any arrow will do. The problem is this auto equipping. When the game autoequips your next arrow, your character will fire it only a few feet.

I believe that the way to fix this is simple – the moment you realize you’ve run out of ammo and you’re using a different arrow, go to your inventory (on PC press “I”; XBox users, you’re on your own!) deselect the ammo you’re currently using and select it again. In other words, manually unequipping and reequipping arrows fixes the problem. In a way this is good because sometimes you might not want to use the arrows the game automatically has you using, like say you ran out of ebony arrows and you’ve automatically switched to the Falmer arrows when you really would like to use your glass arrows next? Naturally you’ll switch them out manually. Falmer arrows belong in a museum!

So if ever you’re hunting or whatever in Skyrim and your arrows are falling two feet away from your bow, un-equip and re-equip them to fix the bug. Hopefully my theory is correct and it works on everyone. Let me know in the comments if you can.

One other thing to note, I have not altered my bows and arrows by modding in any way, except for the spinning arrows mod, which makes my arrows spin so it looks cooler during kill camera events in the game. Also it’s more realistic, since arrows do actually spin in flight and it helps in making the arrows fly in the first place. So if you’re bored with an arrow moving to your target by kill camera, get that Spinning Arrows mod and cackle maniacally as you watch the arrows spin and sail right into your targets’ eyes. Bullseye!

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Adventures of Amaki’dar: Thugs from the Dead!

A dark and rainy night in a new game, and I'm walking back to Whiterun Hold, a torch in my hand, and walking in the rain because I'm over-encumbered. Darn those mammoth tusks!

A dark and rainy night in a new game, and I’m walking back to Whiterun Hold, a torch in my hand, and walking in the rain because I’m over-encumbered. Darn those mammoth tusks!

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged about Amaki’dar’s many adventures in Skyrim. Well as a heads up, I’ve started a new game. Basically one of my favorite addons was updated and it seemed best to start a new game, at least according to the mod makers. If you didn’t there were ways to safely install it, but I couldn’t be bothered.

So this is what happened to Amaki’dar so far. After escaping Helgen, she talked to the blacksmith in Riverwood and helped him forge a dagger and helmet. At one point, when she was going to improve the fit of the helmet, she turned to the workbench, and grabbed a steel ingot by mistake. Of course if it was real life it’d have been no mistake, but being a video game it’s different; I had turned towards the table, but my cross hairs were down on the steel bars when I hit “e” to begin using the table, and that was how I ended up grabbing the steel ingot by mistake. Try to explain that in real life, you’d only get a confused look… and then handcuffs probably…

Anyway, in game, Amaki’dar accidentally grabbed a steel ingot, and the blacksmith of course sees and says, “Hey! You can’t take that!” and the steel ingot was automatically taken out of my inventory. What a lousy start for a Khajiit thief, huh? But beyond this, he did not get hostile or anything, possibly because I was helping him at the forge. I work on the helmet, and he tells me the usual, keep that dagger and helmet and remember him when I’m making skyforge steel. Heh, I thought to myself, I bet you’ll make me think of you long before then by sending thugs after me, right!?

I complete a few more quests, one involving killing a dragon and then climbing up the path to High Hrothgar to visit the graybeards. I now have to journey halfway across Skyrim to find a tomb and retrieve a horn. Joy. What fun. I was walking north down a mountain path when I encountered an argonian who was selling skooma and moonsugar. Naturally I pickpocket the lizard and kill him. It was then I remembered that I needed to return to Klimmek! I had taken supplies up to the graybeards for him, I needed to tell him I was finished with the task.

So I got back but he seemed intent on staying indoors, with the door locked. Picking the lock and breaking in… well of course that’s breaking and entering, tresspassing, invading, and I knew if I did that I’d get nothing out of Klimmek except, “You’re not supposed to be in here!” and possibly a bounty if I didn’t leave straightaway.

I wait outdoors instead. Literally, pressing “T” to bring up the wait option and waiting an hour at a time. Before I knew it, “We’re here to teach you a lesson!” comes from behind me. Uh oh.

Three thugs! I knew it! My drawrven bow and iron arros didn’t even dent their armor, so I looked in my inventory and pulled out an elven mace and nettlebane. I start slashing and smashing away and I get the three down a bit faster than if I had used my bow. It pays to be prepared for the melee.

I loot their bodies, finding 100 gold on each, and one had the contract. I read it expecting to see the blacksmith’s name on it. Instead, the contract was sent by one “argonian.”

Dead thugs in Ivarstead. Oh what a fine mess!

Dead thugs in Ivarstead. Oh what a fine mess!

“WHAT!? That stinking lizard is DEAD! I killed him myself when he saw I was… pick… pocketing… er… ahem…”

Amaki’dar then whistles nonchalantly and walks past the staring guards, and considers finding that argonian and find out exactly how dead bodies can hire thugs!

Top Searches – An Owl’s Perspective

Okay, so it’s not really my top searches, but according to my blog stats, I’ve seen that people found my page by searching for Skyrim things, like “skyrim conjurer/illusion build,” but this one caught my eye: “skyrim how to fight conjurers.”
Being the type who plays with a bow and arrow in Skyrim, nearly always, my answer to that is simple: An arrow to the face… or the knee if you’d like. That’s how I’d fight a conjurer. Kill the magician, and it’s summoned minion should vanish automatically.
Of course, there are times when you find a conjurer fighting something it’s conjured, and in cases like this, the mage cannot control it’s minion and is now fighting it to the death. My answer woulds till be the same: arrow to the head or knee… and that goes for both the mage and the rebellious minion!

Yak Vendor in World of Warcraft

One of the two most commonly searched items I’ve found was the Yak Vendor in World of Warcraft. The other had to do with Anise’s Cabin in Skyrim. Considering where the vendor is, it’s no wonder people have a hard time trying to find him, so I decided to give a heads up for those who needed help.WoWScrnShot_060614_102237

For one thing, it’s no wonder we have a tough time tracking down this salesman… he’s a grummle, so he’s very short to begin with. His name is Uncle Bigpocket, and considering how much gold he asks for these mounts, he’d naturally need a big pocket to hold them all. Shame rogues cannot pickpocket friendly NPCs, or they’d be crazily rich.

One way to spot him to to use the target command, “/target Uncle Bigpocket” So juct use the command within the quotation marks, but don’t use the quotation marks – you’ll only confuse the game.

Another way is if you use coordinates. You can use an addon or two that allows you to see where you are on the X/Y axis of the game world. I use addons like Titan Panel and Sexy Map, and they both have a few features to enhance information you get from your game. For example you can select Sexy Map to display coordinates for you, or as with TitanPanel one of the things it can display is your location, which you can modify to show the name of the area you are in as well as the zone name if you wish, and more importantly the coordinates of where you currently are.

Based on this information, I have Uncle Bigpockets pinpointed at coordinates 65, 61.

WoWScrnShot_060614_104649Or let’s say you don’t use coordinates. Maybe it only gives you a headache, or you just want a visual guide of sorts. The quickest way to the Yak Vendor in WoW. No problem. Assuming you got all the flight paths in the game, take a flight (taxi) to a village called One Keg. The Grummle Bazaar is due east from there. If you look on your map, you’ll see that One Keg has map artwork of a Pandaren building, as well as a flight path symbol. Look to the right of that and you’ll see a similar house icon to the east of One Keg, though it has no flight path, but then it’s only a quick walk/run away from One Keg that it was probably hardly worth setting up a flight path there. Another way to find the Grummle Bazaar is to travel on the road going south from the Temple of the White Tiger.

Another tip to help you find it, if you’re a pet battle trainer like me, or playing a hunter character, then odds are you have the Stable icon appear on your minimap. The stable is an NPC who offers to store extra hunter pets so they can go tame other beasts for their combat uses, and it is also the NPC who can revive your companion pets for pet battles as well. The Icon is in the shape of horse shoe on your minimap. Now the Grummle Bazaar has no flight master, but it does have the stable master, so if you have that trackable on your minimap, then you’ll see where the stable master is on said minimap. The stable master at the Grummle Bazaar is named Herder Muskfree, and in the paddock behind him are the yaks, and Uncle Bigpockets.

… these grummles sure have weird names, but then I bet they think Owlaf is a weird name too!

WoWScrnShot_060614_102305So there you have it, the location of the Yak Vendor in Wow. Due east of One Keg (which has a flight path) so you can simply take a flight path taxi to one keg, then travel east to the Grummle Bazaar, or you can pinpoint his coordinates, which again is 65, 61.

As for the gold…. it costs 106,000 gold pieces to buy the grand expedition yak… I can’t help you get it, though I can suggest daily quests galore. I have yet to see an actual gold coin drop on the Timeless Isle, so I don’t recommend farming there if you’re after gold.

Children’s Week in WoW 2014: No News

WoWScrnShot_042814_173237

Can you hear that? It’s the sound of crickets chirping.

It’s Children’s Week once again in World of Warcraft. This Massive Mulitplayer Online Roleplaying Game (MMORPG) is online all the time, around the clock, all year round, and it has holidays for various occasions that mimic the real world holidays. This week, from April 28th till May 5th, it’s Children’s Week, which is most likely based on Japan’s holiday on May 5th, which is Children’s Day. The holiday lasts for one week in World of Warcaft however, which gives players plenty of time to get into the game and complete quests and achievements during the event, and it usually takes place during the first week of May. For the Japan Holiday, is is celebrated on the 5th day of the 5th month, and it is a day that is set aside to respect children’s personalities and celebrate their happiness, which I think is kind of cool and I wish there was a holiday for that here in the states. After all, we have Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and Grandparents Day. My hope to you, my readers, is that you take the time to enjoy your time with your children and to celebrate their being in your lives, because they truly are the greatest gifts in life and very precious.

In World of Warcraft, the theme is that… well… war, I suppose. The idea is that warriors fought and died bravely on the field of battle, but unfortunately their children were left behind from the conflict. Or perhaps the children’s village or city was sacked by the enemy and their parents were just simple farmers who were killed. Either way, there are orphans in Azeroth, and this week is when you get to temporarily adopt an orphan and take them on a whirlwind tour of Azeroth and get them Ice Cream and fly a kite. The Alliance gets a human orphan, and the Horde gets an Orc orphan, which in a way I can see this as an homage to the original video games from Blizard, “Warcraft: Orcs and Humans” or something similar.

WoWScrnShot_042814_170656

Dawn’s Blossom, the first place in Pandaria where you get to see Pandaren Cubs (not counting the Pandaren starting zone).

Now recently, they’ve been updating the artwork of the original races of Azeroth, giving them newer and better looking art. The game is almost 10 years old, so it could definitely use some polishing up to make it look nicer, but the orphans have never changed. We don’t see any Tauren calves or troll kids running about… or Night elf kids climbing trees or Dwarven children climbing the beer barrels outside the Thunderbrew Distillery. No Goblin kids that are afraid of water due to their home island sinking, or Worgen kids that change from human to wolf depending on the time of day. Forsaken… well, undead don’t have children… maybe they can have the Trick-or-Treat kids from Nightmare Before Christmas… Gnome kids would ask for the player’s help on completed a rube-goldberg device that automatically ties their shoes and stirs their chocolate milk.

Probably the most notable thing this year is the lack of new quests, particularly in the new world zone of Pandaria. Pandaria was shrouded in mist for thousands of years and was recently discovered and explored by the Horde and Alliance. During this period of history, the Sha corrupt the land and Garrosh Hellscream commit several terrible acts that, well… just weren’t nice. An insurrection occurs and Garrosh is removed from the Horde leadership, but there is no denying the fact that Pandaria has suffered from his hand and from the effects of the Sha.

So why then are there no Pandaren orphans? You expect me to believe that the death toll is zero? Did Pandaren warriors fight against Garrosh and die? Did the sha corrupt the land and send Pandaren farmers packing, or even kill these Pandaren? Did any cubs lose parents during this time of hardship in the land of mists?

WoWScrnShot_042814_173138

The lair of the Jade Witch.

It seems not. There are still orphans in the Horde and Alliance, in the Outlands, and in Northrend, but it looks as if the only thing Pandaren Cubs should fear is the Jade Witch, a woman Pandaren who lives in the Jade forest and has a tendency to turn intruders into green statues. Players who complete the quest chain involving this will free the ones who were transformed into jade and all the cubs will return to their homes safe and sound. After this, the Jade Witch no longer appears in her hut, the kid statues are gone, but some jade panthers will still prowl the woods, the last remnants of the witch’s influence. And the Pandaren cubs live happily ever after.

So yeah, no Pandaren orphans, in spite of the sha infestation and Garrosh’s influence and attacks on the land. Seems that either the Celestials were truly watching over the Pandaren families, or the game developers couldn’t be buggered. After all, they are coming out with a new expansion soon, updating art and animations. No pressure. There’s always next year.

Meanwhile, this is another holiday I will be skipping out on. You can get pets as quest rewards for taking time to be with an orphan and show them the world, but I have them all. You can get achievements and earn a title “Matron/Patron”, and I already have that. No new things this year.

I saved a bunch of Pandaren cubs from the Jade Witch during the normal quest chain that can be done only once at any time of the year, as you’re playing in Pandaria, and my reward as a lot of fuzzy little smiles and a green raccoon trinket that I’ll never use. I wish that was a pet. Or maybe a new box kite.

Socks

Socks is the name of the raccoon that got turned into Jade during it’s adventures in the forest.

Jade Raccoon Trinket

The trinket summons Socks the Raccoon, but it doesn’t stay out permanently like other companion pets and you can only have it out when you use the trinket.

Snow Veil Sanctum Answer

I was looking at my blog stats this morning and came across something interesting. In one of my stats I get to see how people reached my blog, and one of them is searches. One of the searches was this:

snow veil sanctum after you are shot you end up outside is there any reason to go back in

I never went back before, to be honest. Snow Veil Sanctum is only accessible during the Thieves Guild quest line, and going in there not only gets you ahead in the quest line for the Guild, but there are some rewards to discover as you go through the tomb. The dungeon is almost a test of your skills, but sometimes Mercer Frey will attack when you’re trying to sneak past a group of draugr, or you try to kill one and he wakes the other five nearby.

However, there are some notable items that can be found in the sanctum while you are tripping the traps and waking angry demented zombies:

  • Model Ship can be sold to Delvin Mallory (when attempting to pick up the model ship, avoid shooting the explosive lanterns above, as they will throw items nearby all around the area making it difficult to loot some of them).
  • Light Armor skill-book Ice and Chitin in the same room as the Dragon Word Wall
  • Skill book, Three Thieves – bone chimes room.
  • Word Wall – Disarm

The word wall for the Disarm shout is one of the last things of interest in the ruins, except for the quest itself. Once you’re shot, the quest ends and the new one starts when you recover outside. The last room in the dungeon is locked with a puzzle door, and Mercer Frey uses his own “key” for unlocking it, and if you’ve completed the entire quest line, you’ll know which key this is. When you go in, you get shot and a cut scene occurs. Once it’s over you’re outside the sanctum. The only thing worthy of note in that last room is a skeleton, presumed to be Gallus.

If you managed to find the skill books, the model ship, and the dragon shout, and if you completed the quest in question, then there is no real reason for going back in there unless you wanted to sneak past Draugr that might have respawned. I wouldn’t know because I’ve never gone back, never saw a need to since I always get the word wall and the model ship, which are the two things I recommend getting if you never want to go back in there again.

I hope whoever was searching for the answer to their question reads this, and I hope it helps.

Eyes open. Walk with the Shadows.

Another Owlaf Druid. Hoot Hoot!

It's an Owl!

It’s an Owl!

My favorite realm of Feathermoon has all 11 character slots filled, so when Feathermoon was merged with Scarlet Crusade, I was able to make more characters and have them in my guilds that are on Feathermoon. In a sense, the two realms are one. The only annoyance is having to exit the character menu to select the realms in question. If Blizzard Entertainment reads this, then my recommendation would be to come up with a way to display all characters on merged realms. Use an arrow to scroll through the list… or make them all minimized icons, and when you click on it to select it, it loads it’s basic information such as level, class/race, location, professions, and so on. Of course, it’s just an idea…

At any rate, I created a new druid on Scarlet Crusade, a Troll named Owlaf… Yes yes, I already have an Owlaf on Feathermoon, and now I have another one. When I type /played, it shows me that I’ve played a total of 3 days and 17 hours. That much play time and I’m at level 86. Woot!

So I pug into a couple of dungeons just to do the quests and hope for some blue items, and I still need to replace my shoulders, but while in Jade Temple, the warlock dies and goes AFK during the first fight. By the time we’re at the third boss area he still hasn’t said a word, let alone released and rezzed. The rest of us get into a little discussion as to what to do with him.

Why we kick people who go AFK... and how we come to that reasoning.

Why we kick people who go AFK… and how we come to that reasoning.

Even in a dungeon group with random, total strangers, they still refer to me as Owl. I love it. 🙂

Or at least they recognize the Owl part of my name, which is a nickname I enjoy using. With my comment in the instance channel, I was thinking of myself as a troll witch doctor, sort of. Yet because of my name, I was still thought of as an Owl. I was surprised.

Owl guess that this is the beginning of a lot of fun times… times of shrinking heads, playing with voodoo dolls, and pecking the eyes out of my enemies. Taz-dingo!

Heimskr… Fixed by Unofficial Skyrim Patch, and Scorned by Inigo!

Behold Heimskr! This resident can be a target for the thieves guild on occasion, but once his house is destroyed by the civil war he no longer can be robbed or anything like that. But perhaps this character in Skyrim is more known for standing in front of a statue of Talos and giving his speech all day long. He is a priest of Talos, and a doomsayer of sorts. His sermons can be heard as you head to the temple of Kynareth, or up to Dragonsreach, or over to Jorrvaskr where the Companions are located, so odds are you either stood nearby to listen to the whole thing, or you heard bits and pieces of it over time and heard the whole thing anyway. Some players may kill Heimskr just to silence him. I did in one game, and came to regret the decision because as I would traverse Whiterun from the shops in the market up to the palace, I’d hear nothing; it felt as though something was missing.

After I completed the civil war questline… I probably should mention that I always join up with the Stormcloaks, mainly because first thing in the game you are a prisoner of the Empire and are about to have your head cut off. Given the choice, I’d go with the Stormcloaks any day of the week. That being said, I’m not sure what happens to Heimskr after the battle for Whiterun if you sided with the Imperials, but I do know what happens when you side with the Stormcloaks and win the battle for this city. As far as Heimskr goes, his house is destroyed, but I think that along with Severio Pelagia’s house is always destroyed no matter which side you are on. However, Severio will always die, but Heimskr will live. Heimskr’s house being destroyed, he will set up a tent between Jorrvaskr and the statue of Talos. Since I never side with the Imperials, I don’t know if he continues to deliver his sermons in front of the statue or if he’s arrested and thrown into the jail in Whiterun. But if you sided with the Stormcloaks, he sleeps in his little tent at night and delivers his sermons during the day in front of the statue.

To the left you can see Inigo, and behind him is what's left of Heimskr's house. To the right you can see Heimskr himself, fully clothed and preaching away.

To the left you can see Inigo, and behind him is what’s left of Heimskr’s house. To the right you can see Heimskr himself, fully clothed and preaching away.

The only problem before was this: After the battle for Whiterun(Stormcloaks), Heimskr would be in rags instead of his robes. A bug to be sure. My thoughts would be that when you deliver the axe to the Jarl, he tells you to take it back and then asks his Steward to get some ink and the good parchment, so he can send a letter to Solitude to officially side with the Empire. Once the Imperials arrive, have to enforce the White-Gold Concordat, they arrest Heimskr for worshiping Talos. Then the battle for Whiterun occurs. Unbeknownst to us, the Stormcloaks release Heimskr from prison so he can resume his sermons to the great and mighty Talos… but thanks to a bug in the game, they forget to give him his clothes.

And that is why, folks, Heimskr will preach Talos in rags (or undergarments if you wish to call it that).

Fortunately there is a way to fix that. A certain series of mods that applies fixes to the games is available, the one in particular is called “Unofficial Skyrim Patch,” written by a team of programmers I assume who devote themselves to discovering bugs and repairing them as well as editing graphic problems, fixing broken quests, audio and subtitles, you name it! I can’t begin to explain all their fixes, but suffice it to say that they’re constantly doing what Bethesda is not (or so it seems to me), and that is making sure the game continues to run as best as possible.

The most recent file was released on February 19th, 2014, as of this blog anyway. I’m sure they’ll come out with more fixes in the future, but there was one fix I saw in their changelog that made me laugh out loud. I quote:

  • One more chance Heimskr, either you’re fixed now or we’re undoing everything we’ve been trying to fix for you!

I saw that and laughed to myself, and I guessed that this was in reference to the fact that after the civil war quest is completed on the Stormcloak side then he’d still be cloaked in rags. So I updated my mod and loaded the game and went straight to Whiterun, because he was still in rags to me and I wanted to see if it was indeed fixed.

Unfortunately he was still in rags. So I fast traveled to the stables nearby and made a fresh save (I’ll call this “Save A”). Then I exited the game and opened my Nexus Mod Manager(NMM), the program I use and recommend for adding and organizing mods to Skyrim, and I unchecked all the Unofficial Patch mods so they would not load. Then I loaded the game and “Save A” at the stables, and immediately saved it as a new file, let’s call it “Save B”. Once saved I exited the game again, then in NMM I reactivated the Unofficial patches and reloaded the game, and loaded “Save B”… Save B was the clean save, so now with the patches activated, it should work correctly. I fast travel to Dragonsreach so I can run down the steps and see Heimskr.

Sure enough, performing a clean save uninstall/re-install worked like a charm. Heimskr was delivering his sermons as usual, and he was wearing the orange and yellow robes of the priesthood like he was supposed to. Congratulations goes out to the Unofficial Patch Project Team, it works as far as I can tell! Fixed for sure!

Now I do use another mod, called Inigo. It adds a unique follower to the game that has many dialogue options, witty comments in casual settings or in combat, and even tells you how he thinks you’re doing if you ask him. He’s a khajiit, with a unique coloring of fur that is not seen on any other in the game, and he behaves like any other follower in the game, except he’s more chatty and witty. Normally I never play with a follower in tow, but after I discovered this mod, I never go anywhere without him.

Inigo's comment about Heimskr.

Inigo’s comment about Heimskr.

So today as I was testing out the fix for Heimskr, Inigo and I were near him, and he made a few comments I never heard him say before, and it made me laugh.

If I were to recommend some mods for this game, one would be the Unofficial Skyrim Patches, and they have more than one, so if you have the addons for Dawnguard, Hearthfire, Dragonborn, and even the High Resolution Packages, then you’d want to have the Unofficial Patches for those too. The other mod I’d recommend would be Inigo. Take him with you wherever you go. Granted, there might be a few places he can’t go with you, like to jail or the Dark Brotherhood Sanctuary in Falkreath for example, but in all other places, he’s a riot! A must have for you adventures in Skyrim!

Talos be with you!

Dragon Attack kills horse. Grr

So I have a manor in Falkreath and I read a book recently on a legend about a famous mage being murdered, something about his three sons, and the whole thing being stricken from the records of history, yet the legend remains. I decided to use my horse since it would be a bit faster for me to get from the south all the way up tot he ruins mentioned near Solitude.

So about one minute after I hit the road, riding along on my horse, did something large go WHOOSH right over my head. Oh bother, I think to myself, another dragon… well, when it comes to dragon bones, scales, and souls, enough is never enough. So I dismount and shoot an arrow at the dragon.

He breathes fire at my horse and kills it.

Now I’m really pissed off. I mean sure, with my perk points in speech, I can sell dragon bones for almost 1500 gold pieces, but still, MY HORSE!!! YOU KILLED MY HORSE! TALOS DAMN YOU!

Then he flies back to my manor and kills my chickens. Thankfully my highland cow made a run for it while my steward tries to go blade to tooth with the dragon while I sprint back to the manor. All the way back I’m yelling, “OH NO! NO! THAT IS NOT WHERE YOU GO FOR BREAKFAST! DON’T – YOU – DARE!!!

So yeah, I get there and all three chickens are dead, I don’t see the cow, and at this point I’m thinking it either ran away safely, or the dragon ate it. Thinking of the latter, I’m thinking, DAMN IT! TALOS TAKE YOU AND ROAST YOU ALIIIIIIIVE!!! I shout my frost breath shout at it, but it’s only two words instead of three.

Then he lifts off and goes hunting some wolves, forcing me to run over grass and rocks and fallen tree trunks after it. I’m shooting arrows at it like a machine gun (or like those automatic crossbows from Shrek 2) at this point, and Inigo finally gets to confront the dragon on the ground with his Blades Sword and Ebony Blade. Maybe I should have given him the one enchanted to do more damage to dragons… oh well. We managed to down it in the end, and upon closer inspection, I realize it was an ancient dragon, far more powerful than the whelps I’ve fought before. No wonder he was smart enough to avoid me and kill everything else.

Damn dragon killed my horse and chickens.  So I kill him and take his soul... eye for an eye I guess.

Damn dragon killed my horse and chickens. So I kill him and take his soul… eye for an eye I guess.

I head back to the manor, overlook my dead chickens, recall my dead horse by the damn lake, and see my long haired cow mosey on back into his pen. Yeah, don’t need a cow herder to do that, haha. Smart animal that one… as for the chickens, well, no wonder I’ve called them “bird-brain”.

After I catch my breath and store the dragon bones and scales inside, I head back out to check on my steward and ask her to buy me another horse and some more chickens. Maybe next time I go for a ride, and giant freak lizard won’t dive bomb me and cook my horse. >.< FML.

Markarth Conga?!

Hey look! It's the Markarth City Conga Line! Ya-dada-dada-da-DA!

Hey look! It’s the Markarth City Conga Line! Ya-dada-dada-da-DA!

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