Children’s Week in WoW 2014: No News


Can you hear that? It’s the sound of crickets chirping.

It’s Children’s Week once again in World of Warcraft. This Massive Mulitplayer Online Roleplaying Game (MMORPG) is online all the time, around the clock, all year round, and it has holidays for various occasions that mimic the real world holidays. This week, from April 28th till May 5th, it’s Children’s Week, which is most likely based on Japan’s holiday on May 5th, which is Children’s Day. The holiday lasts for one week in World of Warcaft however, which gives players plenty of time to get into the game and complete quests and achievements during the event, and it usually takes place during the first week of May. For the Japan Holiday, is is celebrated on the 5th day of the 5th month, and it is a day that is set aside to respect children’s personalities and celebrate their happiness, which I think is kind of cool and I wish there was a holiday for that here in the states. After all, we have Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and Grandparents Day. My hope to you, my readers, is that you take the time to enjoy your time with your children and to celebrate their being in your lives, because they truly are the greatest gifts in life and very precious.

In World of Warcraft, the theme is that… well… war, I suppose. The idea is that warriors fought and died bravely on the field of battle, but unfortunately their children were left behind from the conflict. Or perhaps the children’s village or city was sacked by the enemy and their parents were just simple farmers who were killed. Either way, there are orphans in Azeroth, and this week is when you get to temporarily adopt an orphan and take them on a whirlwind tour of Azeroth and get them Ice Cream and fly a kite. The Alliance gets a human orphan, and the Horde gets an Orc orphan, which in a way I can see this as an homage to the original video games from Blizard, “Warcraft: Orcs and Humans” or something similar.


Dawn’s Blossom, the first place in Pandaria where you get to see Pandaren Cubs (not counting the Pandaren starting zone).

Now recently, they’ve been updating the artwork of the original races of Azeroth, giving them newer and better looking art. The game is almost 10 years old, so it could definitely use some polishing up to make it look nicer, but the orphans have never changed. We don’t see any Tauren calves or troll kids running about… or Night elf kids climbing trees or Dwarven children climbing the beer barrels outside the Thunderbrew Distillery. No Goblin kids that are afraid of water due to their home island sinking, or Worgen kids that change from human to wolf depending on the time of day. Forsaken… well, undead don’t have children… maybe they can have the Trick-or-Treat kids from Nightmare Before Christmas… Gnome kids would ask for the player’s help on completed a rube-goldberg device that automatically ties their shoes and stirs their chocolate milk.

Probably the most notable thing this year is the lack of new quests, particularly in the new world zone of Pandaria. Pandaria was shrouded in mist for thousands of years and was recently discovered and explored by the Horde and Alliance. During this period of history, the Sha corrupt the land and Garrosh Hellscream commit several terrible acts that, well… just weren’t nice. An insurrection occurs and Garrosh is removed from the Horde leadership, but there is no denying the fact that Pandaria has suffered from his hand and from the effects of the Sha.

So why then are there no Pandaren orphans? You expect me to believe that the death toll is zero? Did Pandaren warriors fight against Garrosh and die? Did the sha corrupt the land and send Pandaren farmers packing, or even kill these Pandaren? Did any cubs lose parents during this time of hardship in the land of mists?


The lair of the Jade Witch.

It seems not. There are still orphans in the Horde and Alliance, in the Outlands, and in Northrend, but it looks as if the only thing Pandaren Cubs should fear is the Jade Witch, a woman Pandaren who lives in the Jade forest and has a tendency to turn intruders into green statues. Players who complete the quest chain involving this will free the ones who were transformed into jade and all the cubs will return to their homes safe and sound. After this, the Jade Witch no longer appears in her hut, the kid statues are gone, but some jade panthers will still prowl the woods, the last remnants of the witch’s influence. And the Pandaren cubs live happily ever after.

So yeah, no Pandaren orphans, in spite of the sha infestation and Garrosh’s influence and attacks on the land. Seems that either the Celestials were truly watching over the Pandaren families, or the game developers couldn’t be buggered. After all, they are coming out with a new expansion soon, updating art and animations. No pressure. There’s always next year.

Meanwhile, this is another holiday I will be skipping out on. You can get pets as quest rewards for taking time to be with an orphan and show them the world, but I have them all. You can get achievements and earn a title “Matron/Patron”, and I already have that. No new things this year.

I saved a bunch of Pandaren cubs from the Jade Witch during the normal quest chain that can be done only once at any time of the year, as you’re playing in Pandaria, and my reward as a lot of fuzzy little smiles and a green raccoon trinket that I’ll never use. I wish that was a pet. Or maybe a new box kite.


Socks is the name of the raccoon that got turned into Jade during it’s adventures in the forest.

Jade Raccoon Trinket

The trinket summons Socks the Raccoon, but it doesn’t stay out permanently like other companion pets and you can only have it out when you use the trinket.


Speakinspell is BACK!

This is a popular addon that was originally created in 2008 for the MMORPG game of World of Warcraft. Speakinspell is a unique addon, complicated even, but once you get to know it it becomes easy to use and quite possibly your most favorite addon of all.

The Ins and Outs

The way it works is once you’ve downloaded it and put it in your addons folder, you start up the game and just start playing as normal. Speakinspell is already working for you by watching what spells you are doing and what interactions you make. You get repairs from a veondor, you could greet the vendor as you do so. You start attacking something and you shout a random battlecry. You get a resurrection from another player and thank them with a whispered message. The way Speakinspell works is that is watches what you do, and then you can create announcements for whenever you cast these spells or trigger these events. The best way to get started would probably be to start attacking a target dummy so that the addon will detect what spells you use.

Like for example, I’ll create a new one right now so you can see how to do it yourself. As a night elf druid, I just attacked a rare monster and used Solar Beam to interrupt it’s self heal. Then when the fight is over and I’m in a safe spot (30 feet straight up as best), I open my addon’s window. The list to the left are the various menus of the addon. Click on “Create New” to get started.

Now to find your speech easier, let’s say I’d like the event to trigger when I start casting the spell in particular. Under the filter options on the create new page you’ve got a drop menu that lets you select what type of events to chose from. Let’s select that one, the one called, “Spells, Abilities, and Items (start casting). Now the second drop menu will have all the spells you’ve ever started casting that Speakinspell is aware of. Of course, another way to find it is to type the spellname, or even just a few words from it, and then select the event you’re looking for. Select the spell you want, for purposes of this demonstration it’s going to be when I start casting: Solar Beam, and then hit the Create New button.

Now we’re at the menu to edit the speech in question. When you hit the create new button, it loads the even that takes you to it so you can edit it, but from here you can edit any speech you already have in your records. For now, look at this closely. The first part at the very top is the Search option, in case you want to look for a particular spell to edit. It features the same options as the create new menu, on this will search for spells you already have “created”. Below Search will be Select. This is where you select the particular spell, in this case Solar Beam.

Now the third option in this editing menu is of course called Edit. This is where you change the settings for the event in question. Under the How Often box, there’s a checkbox to disable the event in case you don’t want it to trigger anything at all but you want to keep the event around instead of deleting it forever. Below that is a red button for deleting the event, don’t press it unless you really really mean it! Then below that is another check box, labeled as “Show these options.” Click on that, and it’ll reveal all the things you can set to make the event trigger the way you want it, and for the How Often settings, it shows two sliders: Random Chance % and the Cooldown. For most of my spells I prefer to give it a somewhat low random chance, so let’s set that to 33%… and then give it a cooldown of about 200 seconds. You can either use the sliders to adjust it, or to be more precise, just type in the numbers it the little boxes. With a 33% chance to proc, this means the spell will trigger a message only once in a while, and with a 200 second cooldown, it will prevent a second message from proccing right away, so it will help reduce spam. One note: the only speech I’d give a 100% proc chance and a 0 second cooldown would be for resurrections, because if say you don’t have the mass rez ability and you’re the only person alive and you must rez folks one by one, do so, and each one will get their own rez message when you start casting it.

The next part under editing is called “Which Channel?” and this menu is where you set how your addon says it’s speeches and when, as in when you’re by yourself, or in a party, or a raid. I’m hoping we can implement when you’re in an instance someday as well because when you Que for an LFR or a random heroic dungeon, or even a scenario, the addon does not recognize you as being in a party or raid group and therefore will not announce speeches. So hopefully we can get this feature updated. For the meanwhile, I set all my speeches to /say so that it’ll announce it no matter what kind of group I’m in.

Then we come to the next menu called “What To Say?” and this is where the fun really begins! Now a useful note is that if you’re character’s race has two languages, then you can select whether to use the default language, the alternate language, or randomize it! This of course will not work on Humans, Worgen, or Orcs, because they only have one language they know, which is the default Common for the Alliance and Orcish for the Horde. But in my case I’m on my night elf, so my two languages of choice are Common and Darnassian, so what I can do it select it to use a random language. Now a new slider appears and this is the gauge that will determine how often to use Darnassian. It’s automatically set to 50%, but I’ll lower it to 10%. Now below that will be where we can create our speeches.

In Random Speech, there is a black box that contains the space you type your speech in. I type in a sentence like, “Look at the shiny light!” and click on the button that says Accept. This will save your newly typed or edited speech! Now a new black box appears below speech one, so I can make another… and another… as many as I want, up to 50 I think… but I won’t make that many! About 3 ideas occur to me, and I type in those 3 speeches and save them one by one.

Solar Beam's message proc, one of them anyway.  I activated chat bubbles so you can read it more easily, I hope!

Solar Beam’s message proc, one of them anyway. I activated chat bubbles so you can read it more easily, I hope!

Now I’m ready to test it out! Let’s go find something to kill… or if you don’t want to kill something, attack a target dummy. I’m out in the field however, so I’ll just attack stuff and cast my spell when I can.

Bingo! It works like a charm!

So with this guide I hope you can get into the addon and create speeches for your characters. I’ve come up with several of my own for shapeshifting and using items, even for some professions like mining and gathering herbs, and even archaeology! I have a few speeches where I ask if there are any peanuts when I talk to a flight master, and a few for when I talk to a vendor or quest giver. And not just for my druid either.

When It Almost Died…

Now the addon hasn’t been updated for two years, so you can imagine the changes that happened to the game that the addon did not keep up with. For instance the inclusion of Goblins for the Horde and Worgen for the Alliance, and the Pandaren for either side! Then the new class, the Monks, they have their own spells and abilities. How about setting a speech to apply the vulcan neck pinch when you successfully cast “Touch of Death” and your foe dies? I did! But it’s not in the default settings… yet.

RP Helpers Night Elf... Sweet Elune!

RP Helpers Night Elf… Sweet Elune!

You see, another setting for the addon is under the left menu called “Import”. Under here you can import speeches from your friends or guild mates or even from a targeted player who has Speakinspell. But another thing is that the addon comes with some default speeches and some extra speeches created by the original writers of the addon. As you can see in this screen shot, there is a drop menu here, and if you look closely, since I am on my Night Elf Druid, you see some default categories for Druid and RP Helper Night Elf. When you select those, you can chose from a list of events from talking to a vendor to casting class specific spells. For example there’s a built in setup for Entangling Roots where the druid will say something like, “Halt in your tracks!” You can import this speech, then edit its settings, and there ya go!

Unfortunately, the addon does not have any default speeches included for the Goblins, Worgen, Pandarens, or any monks at all. Again, the addon was out of date for two years, so if you wanted some lore-specific speeches, you had to make them yourself. An example would be when you’re playing on your goblin and you use someone’s repair bot in a raid, and your goblin suddenly says, “Time is money, Jeeves!” Or you’re entering combat while playing a worgen, you can create a battle cry that makes it yell, “By bite is far worse than my bark!” Or you’re on a Pandaren and you talk to a vendor, you can create a message event that says something like, “White Tiger watch over you!” (this last one would also be good for any monk players regardless of race). But you’d have to create these speeches yourself.

But then one day, Speakinspell was pretty much broken. The original makers of the addon hadn’t updated it for years for an unknown reason, and this left a lot of users disappointed. Looking at the project site, you can see that last updated release was December of 2012, and it was downloaded over ten thousand times. That’s a lot of users! So when the addon started to break and wasn’t being updated and repaired, this was when people started to despair. Was this a unique addon that was doomed to disappear from our lives? It was very unique, one a kind. No other addon out there provides a large source of random macros for every spell you cast or every event your trigger. Congratulating guild members, scoring a critical strike, faking death as a hunter, shadowmelding as a night elf, bezerking as a troll, when you log in. even custom events that you create yourself. No other addon out there does what this one can do, complete control over your own spell event announcements, as serious or as silly or as witty as you wish!

The Return of Speakinspell!

I'll rip the secrets from your flesh! Wait, do shas have flesh? They're elementals... hmmm!

I’ll rip the secrets from your flesh! Wait, do shas have flesh? They’re elementals… hmmm!

So when I started to feel down about it, I mentioned it to my friend, who’s a computer programmer, and he offered to fix it for me. When he did, he decided to contact the original authors of the addon and ask permission to take over the addon so he could keep it up to date. The original creator of Speakinspell was overjoyed, responding within 24 hours of contact, and in a few short days, my friend was learning how to addon was coded and started fixing errors. Then he uploaded it to the internet and now it’s being downloaded again.

It’s latest release, which included the fix for the arenas that Blizzard changed a while back, is online. Speakinspell version 5.4.02… and int he last two days since it went live, it’s been downloaded over 500 times! I can only imagine the users of this addon jumping for joy at the realization that the addon is being updated again.

Then I got to thinking, I came up with new ideas for some spells and events, and especially had to since there were still no defaults for Worgen or Goblins or Pandaren. And hey, a new class, Monks. I’d have to invent something for them too, and I did. So I got to thinking, maybe I could create my own default templates and have my friend who is now keeping Speakinspell alive for me could add them into the code so everyone who downloads it can import them! Now you saw me mention importing speeches for night elves and druids. Imagine if you downloaded a future version of the addon and saw that you could import random speeches for your Goblin! Or battlecries fit for a savage Worgen! Honorable greetings for a Pandaren. And battlecries for a Monk based on things like the Karate Kid, Bruce Lee, and so on? Oh man, we have a lot to invent here!

So maybe in the very near future, I’ll come up with some new speeches to add into Speakinspell’s default settings. I mean with the addition of patches and changes to the game some spells still work, but others were changed entirely and are no longer worth anything in the default settings, like the hunters Mongoose Bite, or the mages spell for ritual of refreshment. That mage table used to require other people clicking on the portal to assist the mage with summoning the mana strudel, and the speeches for that event is still in there, still advertising stale strudels. But even if you imported that from the default speeches for the mage, it still won’t trigger because the spell name and how it works has completely changed. Now the mage can cast the spell and in a few seconds the table is there! No help needed, no need to charge gold for reagents since they were removed, and now it serves mana buns (which I have taken to calling Cinnamon Rolls) instead of strudel.

What I ended up doing was casting the spell, then creating a new speech event for it, and then creating my own speeches for it. “Strudels! Cakes! Cinnamon Rolls! Get ’em while they’re hot! No cookies thought – that’s the warlock’s department!” “Step right up folks and get your Mana Meals! Strudels, cakes, and cinnamons rolls galore!” Now imagine if I could have my friend remove the old speech event and replace it with the new speech event, maybe copy and past the old mage summoning table speeches or update them to reflect on the fact that you get mana buns instead of mana strudel, and this way you can import the speeches for your mage summoning table and it would work. Otherwise, you could import the no longer usable spell event, create the new one, and copy and paste the spell speeches one by one. Tedious isn’t it? So if we can update this, it would be awesome! The same for warlock cookie jars! And hey, there are speeches for portals created by the mage for every city, but no new ones for a portal to the vale! How would you like that to be available in the mage default settings? I mean you make a portal to Undercity and call it a sewer, or a portal to Stormwind and ask why would the player want to go there since they see humans all the time in real life? How about a portal to the vale and ask the raid group to pick some flowers and kill a mogu? Or advertise a pandaren food or two and tell them to swing by a restaurant for take-out specials? Hmm! And Tol Barad is another portal with no speeches in the mage defaults too. Maybe a few speeches for that. “Quickly! We must get to Tol Barad and take over the prison complex before THEY do! GO!” Image that!

So some old default spells are obsolete, there are a few new abilities that the old classes have, we have one new class to create events for, and three new races that can use their own speech events from vendor chatter to combat nonsense. I plan to help bring the Speakinspell up to speed. Even now I’m preparing some speeches to be implemented into the code, and I’m hoping to also set up my own template. You might notice in the imports that there’s something called Dire Lemming’s speeches, like his hearth stones and rez macros? and Durema’s Crowd Control speeches? In the future, you might just see a new one to import – Owlaf’s Witty Druid Collection. This way, I can share my speeches for when a druid player shapeshifts into any animal form. Bear, Cat, Moonkin, Travel Form and Flight Form and Aquatic Form. “They call me Flipper! Flipper!” “Time to haul hoof!” “Let’s break the sound barrier!” It’s something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time, and now I have a chance. But first, I think I’ll focus on the 3 races and new class first.

Bringing it up to speed. Or, as my druid would say as she shifts into swift flight form: “LUDICROUS SPEED! GOOOOOOOOO!”

Warp 9 Druid

Dreaming of Warcraft

I’m flying over the forest, dodging the trees as well as I can for a Sandstone Drake. It’s not easy to fly at 310% speed, not to mention the mounted bonus from the guild perk, but I was also carrying a passenger! I stop soaring and hover for a moment, constantly beating my wings to maintain my altitude.

“Okay, Coy, look down there. You can see that there’s a lumber mill across that lake, or river… body of water. See it? With all those tree-like elementals? And enemy monsters walking about mindlessly?”


“Okay, so, over this way,” I turn to the forest to my right and flap my way past a tree. “Over the cliff you have trees galore, and this little clearing with a polar bear in it. That’s our target.” I ponder momentarily why a polar bear is in a temperate forest. Something about this brings to mind of the coconuts from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

“Ah, okay!” Coy says. “You coming?”

I turn my head and call out, “Yeah!? You coming with us? We’re over here!”

“Look for the lumber mill!” Yeah, we were using voice chat, but we seemed to be missing out headsets and were shouting across Azeroth, but it was okay because even though our voices carry, only party members can hear us.

Then the phone rings and I wake up. When I get up and go answer it, I press the wrong button, and thus failt o answer the call. It was still pretty dark in my room though so I couldn’t see that I was pressing the delete button instead of phone. So the call goes to my machine, and the caller hangs up.

And guess what? I set the phone down, turn to my bed and think, “Shoot! I left coy hovering in midair! I gotta log back in and… wait… how to I log back into a dream and pick up where I left off…”

So you see, the one thing I hate about World of Warcraft is that there is no “save” feature because the game is always being played by other people even when you aren’t on. I sometimes prepare myself for a fight against a rare or something and go to press a hotkey to quicksave it, but nope!

I guess that applies to dreams as well. When you wake up, you can’t just go back to sleep and turn on the dream and log back in to the last place you were. le sigh!

Yell For Tanks – It Works!


I was in an LFR for the Forgotten Depths moments ago in World of Warcraft. After the first boss was killed, both tanks promptly left. Yet even without tanks, we pressed on through the trash mobs of the raid. But then when we got to the next boss, a three headed monster, we paused for a moment. I took the opportunity to yell about it. /y “OI! RAID FINDER!!! HOW HARD IS IT TO FIND TWO TANKS!? GET ON THE JOB AND FIND EM FOR US. NOW!!!”

And not five seconds after I hit enter, two tanks had joined the group. Some people laughed, one or two went, “wow…” and then I went, “Oh wow, I’m psychic!”


Unfortunately, another player got that pet instead of me. FML. :_(

Farming in World of Warcraft. Argh

After harvesting crops, the soil could become “occupied” meaning there are virmen hiding under the dirt. Today I got 4 in a row. What the—!?


At exaulted with the tillers, you get 16 spots to plant seeds in, and therefore you harvest 16 plants a day. I’ve been farming Songbells, which grant one mote of Harmony with each plant, so every day I get one Spirit of Harmony and six extra motes to hang on to.

The problem is every single patch of soil has it’s problems, whether you plant something or harvest it.

Today as you can see in the picture, I have 4 occupied soils, which is clearly noticeable by the patches of dust flying up from the ground… I’d hate to think how “busy” those virmen are down there! I better get rid of them soon. I thought it was crazy and silly, however, that all four of them are in one single row!

All in a day’s work… ARGH!

So I tilled the soil around it for the time being and planted more songbells… and I hesitated tending the crops so you can see for yourself the trouble I have to go through. Aside from the 4 occupied soils that I have yet to tend to, I have the following problems:

  • 3 Runty Songbell
  • 3 Wild Songbell
  • 2 Parched Songbell
  • 2 Infested Songbell
  • 1 Smothered Songbell
  • 1 Tangled Songbell

The Runty ones I just have to click on, and it makes me kneel down and then I hit the spacebar to make my toon jump, and it pulled the runty plant up and it grows normally. Easy enough. The Parched ones need water, the Infested ones I have to spray bug spray on them. Smothered has an encroaching weed I have to click on and then spam a button to pull it up. Tangled I click on and move away to sort of pull the weeds out, slightly different from the smothered type. And the Wild ones are a pain. I have to hop onto the long tendrils and wrestle it to show it who’s boss, and it occasionally smacks me into the ground.

It’s all too much, really.

So if Blizzard ever reads this, I hope they see my suggestion here: Why can’t we put a seed in the ground and just have it go directly to “growing”…. I mean sometimes, very rarely, the seed can go directly to bursting, which lets you harvest it right away and then plant something else! Why not have all these problems be less common, but not entirely rare… Let the “Growing” happen a lot more often so we don’t have to spend ten minutes dealing with wild plants, ravenous virmen, and swooping birds!? THANK YOU! %)

So I go ahead and fix all these problems, clear out the 4 virmen in the occupied plots, till the soil and plant 4 more songbell seeds. Two are Runty, one is Infested, and the last one is wiggling. I KNEW IT! I just knew they were doing SOMETHING down there!!! ARGH!

So yeah, if ten or twelve of these plants can just go to growing when I plant them and then I have 4 random problems with the others, then I’d be fine with that… but all 16 plants with various random things happening to them!? Grrr… It’s a bit much!

WTS old defective scarecrow, paying all that glitters!

Owlaf and the Anglers

Well, I got to exaulted with the Anglers today on my main toon Owlaf. There are only three dailies for this reputation, although there are also some fish you can fish up that can be turned in once a day, but these fish are rare to catch. Not only that but those fish are the only way to gain rep with Nat Pagle, so I know getting exaulted with him will take forever since I don’t fish a lot.

The Azure Water Strider

But still, I’m exaulted with the Anglers, and that means I was able to buy the Water Strider mount. It’s considered an insect, although only four of its legs are most noticeable, the smallest two appendages are just under the creature’s mandibles. But the best benefit to getting this mount is for it’s ability to walk on water (in non-battleground areas), so this mount is a must-have for when you go questing as a low-level character and you haven’t gotten flying yet, or are in an area that has no flying… and lots of water.

The Water Strider runs low to the ground, and it’s long legs stretch out on either side of it, which probably is what contributes to it’s water-walking ability. Now just about everyone can ride on a mount across a lake without being a shaman or a death knight, and without an elixir of water-walking.

Cancel all orders on Elixirs of Water Walking. Everything under the carapace is okay!

The best thing I love about this mount is the “/mountspecial” action it does. As with all ground mounts, all you have to do is hit the space bar, or whichever is your jump button, while your mount is not moving. The critter will bring his feet in right under his body and thus raise itself up into the air and look around. The first time I did this, I said to myself, “YOW!!! WHOA!” and laughed at the action it did. Imagine you’re in a car and you press a button and the car raises itself up by about twelve feet into the air in two seconds, like in those spy movies. That’s what it looks like. ^-^

Even weirder when a moonkin is on it.

The strength this Strider has is incredible. Capable of stretching itself to full height even while supporting a Moonkin. This probably also applies to Tauren as well.

Exaulted with the Tillers!

Well, Owlaf finally made it. She’s a Tiller now, a member of the faction at Halfhill in the Valley of the Four Winds. Now she has all the space she can possibly own to grow her crops, fully upgraded with sprinklers and pest control, and a plow for when I wanna till soil or whatever. There’s chickens, pigs, sheep, a cat, a dog, and a yak. And a Mushan, which is a really big reptile that grazes in a field nearby. The most important thing here is the opening up of crop space. Now I can grow 16 plants a day. I’ve been growing whatever I needed so I can stock the guild with feasts. We haven’t started raiding yet, but I’m hoping it will be soon.

My completely updated farm. Growing pumpkins today. Halloween is around the corner ya know. ^-^

Kite Surfing With Style!

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This isn’t flying, it’s wind surfing with style!

In Pandaria, the taxis are kites. You literally stand on a kite and it flies you from point A to point B. And it turns out you get to ride on one for free. At level 90, if you’re working on the reputation for The Tillers, you might just get a daily quest from Farmer Fung. The quest is called Water, Water Everywhere, and to do it you have to talk to the flight master as if you were going to another town, and you’ll have a dialogue option where you’ll say something along the lines of, “Hey, this farmer guy said I can use one of his kites to water the fields.” and then she’ll lend you one and it flies along a path that goes all over the Heartland and you throw buckets of water down upon the dry spots of the fields.

Well, I’m Best Friends with Farmer Fung, and it turns out when you raise your reputation with him, you unlock some of his more exotic kites. There’s the standard red kite of course, which is available right from the start. Then you unlock the high-altitude blue kite, which flies higher and thus lets you throw buckets of water at a wider area of crops. After that it’s the swift yellow kite, which flies low and fast so you can get to all the dry patches faster. Finally, when you’ve maxed out our friendliness with Farmer Fung, you get to ride on the dancing green kite, that… well, makes you dance while you’re riding on it! That’s one way to water the crops! I’ll take it!

Now I really wish we could make our own kite mounts, especially a dancing one… it’d say make it an Inscription-craftable mount, which takes parchment, ink, enchanting dust, a couple of wooden staves for the frame, and some windwool cloth. I’m sure Blizzard would add a reagent for this that costs upwards of 12k gold just to make it more “rare”… if by rare they mean gold sink, but it’s doable. A kite you can fly on at your own leisure that makes your character dance on it? I want one! LOL

Cloud Serpent Order

I made it! Owlaf has become exaulted with the order of the Cloud Serpents, a group of Pandaren who raise and train cloud serpents to be their faithful mounts. I chose the golden one, and while I could buy the others, I think I might just level the reputation on my alts, each of them with a different colored serpent. After all, it says you need to be exaulted with the order in order to fly on one of these.

Brewfest Reward 2012

The Original Pony keg. Still only 100 tokens, you can keep this on you forever. Set it up on the ground. Then just click, drink, and repeat!

So this year for Brewfest, Blizzard has come out with a new item that can be purchased from the vendor at the festival grounds. The vendor takes Brewfest Tokens, which you get by completing daily quests (and getting smashed while doing so is almost a given!). The vendors names are Belbi Quickswitch for the Alliance, and for the Horde it’s Blix Fixwidget. Both of these vendors can be found at the fair grounds. Belbi is a gnome wearing goggles, and Blix is a goblin, so both are quite short, but you should have no trouble finding them…. unless you’re totally smashed, then your vision would be blurry. I’ll cover all the notable kegs you can buy from them this year so you can get a good idea of what’s there and what you’d like to get.

The first keg available from Brewfest is known as the Brewfest Pony Keg, which drops a keg on the ground, and players all around you can click on it to “tap the keg” and get a mug of Brewfest beer. You can only carry one mug of this stuff at a time, so what players usually do is they click on the keg, drink the beer, and then they can click again. There usually is a race to see who vomits first, and it’s a past-time I have been a part of when a player goes AFK during a raid right before a boss fight or while most people are still away during a 5 minute break in that raid. When you drop the keg on the ground, it lasts for three minutes and has an unlimited supply of  brew. All the kegs you buy from Brewfest are bound on pickup and they last forever. The only limit is that when you do use it, it has a thirty minute cooldown. You can get this at Brewfest for only 100 tokens.

The Brewfest Keg Pony. Costs 200 Tokens, and lets you summon a mule with Brewfest Kegs ready for tapping!

The other keg item is actually called the Brewfest Keg Pony, a slight variation of wording, but the difference is significant. While this one costs a whopping 200 tokens, it’s function is slightly different. Instead of dropping a keg on the ground, this will summon a small pony (or mule) that has kegs of Brewfest brew hanging over it’s back. This acts like a companion pet, in the sense it’s alive and will follow it’s owner like a critter pet would, but it has an extra function – players can click on the pony to tap a keg of Brewfest beer just like they could on the pony keg. The hard part is if the player who owns it moves away, then the pony moves too and players might end up clicking on empty space, and then they walk crookedly, swaying and slurring as they try to find the pony. I’ve rarely played “Pin the Tail on the Donkey,” but this is crazy!

And now this year, it’s the Pandaren Brewpack. While the Pandaren aren’t actually competing in the festivities against Thunderbrew and the others, they were able to bring this along at least. Costing only 100 tokens, this item has a unique action. Like the pony keg and the keg pony, this lasts 3 minutes, but instead of summoning a keg or a mule on the ground, this puts the keg on the player’s back and replaces the action bar. You casting spells, your attacks, everything on the first action bar is gone. Now you have two functions to press while you have the keg on your back. Press 1, and you drink some of the brew yourself, which is unlimited, but why keep it to yourself? Press 2, and you can throw the brew to friendly players!

From left to right, the Brewfest Pony Keg, Brewfest Keg Pony, and the Pandaren Brewpack.

Now I tested this out so I know this: you really can only target friendly players. This means people from your faction only, and they don’t have to be in a party to get the beer. You just have to be in range to throw them a mug. And like the others, the recipient of the free beer has to drink it before they can get another one. You cannot toss a Brewfest beer to players of the opposite faction. As an Alliance druid, I was at Halfhill in Valley of the Four Winds, and a lot of players were there today. I donned my keg and drank till I puked, and then started tossing brew to anyone I could. I tried throwing some to the horde players nearby, but it wouldn’t work. Sorry guys! Reroll Alliance, and then I can share! ^-^

Another fun fact I recently discovered. If you have the brewpack on and you toss a beer to a friendly player who is flagged, then you become flagged! Of course this applies on non-pvp realms. On pvp realms you’re always flagged. So be careful if you’re on a non-pvp server. Let’s say you’re at a summoning stone just outside a raid and you throw a brew at a nearby friendly player that’s flagged, and a bunch of toons from the opposite faction are nearby. Not good! Yikes! So be mindful of who you throw it to. I was in Halfhill when I discovered the flagging myself thing, but fortunately the Horde players nearby weren’t interested in fighting. Probably because we were at the marketplace.

Only 100 tokens, This puts the keg on your back and gives you two options. Press 1 to drink some, press 2 to throw it at a friendly player!

And lastly, all three of these items last forever, meaning they aren’t consumed when used. Consumed in wow means when you use the item, it disappears forever. The only drawback is that they all have a 30 minute cooldown, but it’s not so bad when you consider the fact that they don’t share that cooldown! Each item, once summoned, lasts three minutes. So what you can do is summon one keg, drink from it, and then you can summon the next one in your bags while the first is one cooldown. With three kegs you can buy, you will never go thirsty again!

  1. Brewfest Pony keg100 Tokens
  2. Brewfest Keg Pony200 Tokens
  3. Pandaren Brewpack100 Tokens

If you haven’t already, you’d best get farming those tokens if you want any of these kegs. Bark for Brews, or make deliveries. And above all, have fun! It’s Brewfest!

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